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THE STINGRAY THREAT

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 22, 2008, 12:56 PM


Holy shit, you guys. The stingrays are out for blood! Check it:

This woman died of RAY TO THE FACE. YOU COULD BE NEXT.

Seriously, this should be a campaign issue. Health care? WHAT GOOD IS HEALTHCARE WHEN THE STINGRAYS ARE ON A RAMPAGE?!?! Somewhere in the Caribbean, they are circling, declaring in the secret tongue of stingrays, "Steve Irwin was only the first to fall!"

But dude! Read the article! These suckers are so hardcore, they kill people with their faces!

I KNOW RIGHT.

If you want to fight back, join the Stingray Threat Undercover Defenses (S.T.U.D.) today!


In other news, there are sometimes certain things you don't want to hear, ever, under certain circumstances.

As some of you know, it's been a crazy term, but I am finally taking spring break off and am back in my old hometown for the week. My dad's house is pretty nice digs, and it's always good to be back, so everything's shiny, aye?

Only yesterday morning, I go upstairs to fix some breakfast, go near the sink, and out of the blue I hear this furious buzzing. And on the windowsill appears not one, but two bees.

Some of you may also know that I have a strong dislike, bordering on crippling fear, of bees. That being said, I am not exaggerating when I say that these bees appeared to have crawled from the pits of apian Hell. They were the same shape as a honey bee, but larger, and black, not in the fuzzy-fat-happy bumblebee way, but this creepy Venom : Spiderman :: Beelzebee : NORMAL BEE way. (For anyone who never had to do analogies as a kid, you were deprived.)

So I call my father up, as he is out making his musical therapist rounds (don't ask.)
"So, Dad. Did you, perchance, know that there are bees in the kitchen?"

This was one of those situations where there are certain things you really do not want to hear. For example, my father's response:
"Oh, funny story, that...."

Funny story? Funny story?! Funny story is Lady Getting Smeared by a Stingray. Funny story is not our kitchen being flooded with Satan's Honeymakers. Apparently bees in the kitchen is a recurring thing. All I'm sayin' is if they don't get to steppin', Raid's gonna be a recurring thing too. >[

Also I totally got to see Barack Obama last night. He was, like, ten feet away. It was so damn cool. A side note--not to wax too political here, but--well, if you're voting Republican, power to ye, but if you're more left-leaning and you're undecided? I'd nudge you towards Obama. Not because Hillary is the Great Satan, but (partially) because she's not exactly the Gaming Industry's best friend, and I know that actually is something that impacts a lot of you guys.  

Plus, the dame eats babies. So. You know. Yeah.





In closing,

THE STINGRAY WANTS FLESH.



Features Temporarily On Hold During Contest!

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PARTNER IN CRIME/KAA-SAN/PROM QUEEN:
:iconalietfaslami:
Guilty of:
Partial destruction of Japan, conspiring against Organization XIII, converting me to PS2ism

CRAZY COLLEGE BUDDIES:
:iconsmiling-grouch::iconergo-the-god::icondead-bird::iconmiaki: :iconsilverdragon686:

HOME-SLICES:
:iconfayekas::iconlorien077::iconbeeflord-quimplestag::iconbabypea::iconiamlazarus:

CLUBS:

:iconaxel-fc::iconorganization::iconkhiiclub::iconthe-turnip-garden:

....MY FAN CLUB... *hides in a corner*
:iconblacklillianfanclub:

Survivor Stamp by terriblenerd Don't Waste Time Stamp by KidKourage

  • Mood: Alarmed
  • Listening to: Queen Anne's Revenge, Flogging Molly
  • Watching: HOLY CRAP IT'S A STINGRAY
  • Playing: GET IN THE BOAT
  • Eating: OH WAIT, SCRATCH THAT
  • Drinking: GET ON LAND
Add a Comment:
 
:iconaxel-pyroguy:
Axel-pyroguy Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
These types of things make me wonder if Hilary Cinton is really just a giant stingray in disguise out to kill us all with her video game hate! and her stingray army!!
Reply
:iconsola84:
Sola84 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
Sadly there are ignorant people out there hunting the stingrays because of deaths like these, as if other humans are not more of a threat to us!

I couldn't help but notice the picture of the lady's hat on the stingray and the drop of blood in front of it amusing in a sick way. The stingrays are warning us to stay out of their ocean, even being on a boat isn't safe.

You shouldn't be afriad of bees, it's wasps that are out to get us, although I heard they are recuriting bees for spying, since they look harmless enough...
Reply
:iconwhite-kitten:
White-Kitten Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
HILARY IS CONTROLING THE STINGRAYS, SATAN'S IN LEAGUE WITH THE BEES, NATURE'S OUT TO GET US. politics are involved. omg we're all gonna die.
Reply
:iconbloody-red-sporks:
bloody-red-sporks Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
there was another story where a stingray killed an 80year old man off the keys like 5 years ago or summat like that.
Reply
:iconneon-silver:
Neon-Silver Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
You have no clue how hard it is for me to not make a Steve Irwin joke right now....you really don't...
Reply
:iconkilo-monster:
Kilo-Monster Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Let us never forget that they also got Steve. ;A; Those stingrays are goin' DOOOOOWN!
Reply
:iconshirabliss:
ShiraBliss Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
HOLY...?!?!? :faint:

save us D:>
Reply
:iconbobrox15:
bobrox15 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
As long as nobody finds out I've been smuggling them from the ocean to their secret base in the midwest. We shall take over America from the inside! All Hail Stingrays!!!!!

Seeing Political Candidates is cool, I got to Shake Obama's hand.

Hillary is just killing herself now, she's made so many comments about Obama only winning "the votes that don't matter"
Reply
:iconnodwolf:
nodwolf Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'll join S.T.U.D.! I'll be your numba 2 man Miss Ian!
Reply
:iconphilrey:
PhilRey Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Student General Artist
That's frightening.
Reply
:iconbeltaguise:
Beltaguise Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I always knew the next dominant species of Earth would come from the ocean...I just always thought it would be the squids. >>

Oh well. I for one, salute our Stingray overlords! Hail the giant flipper fish!

I don't know how right the information was, but I heard black bees were the undertakers of bee-dom. Which means somewhere in your kitchen there's a tiny bee graveyard. D:
Reply
:iconmadmother88:
MadMother88 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
0_o Big stingray...
lol, S.T.U.D >o<
Reply
:icondefineprog:
defineprog Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Those buggers are cause more beachside deaths than sharks. :0
Reply
:iconwritingviolinist:
WritingViolinist Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I say that video games were what caused people to be more creative, i mean come on- "the dog ate my homework." ??? how lame is that?
Reply
:iconrascalflattsbaby8908:
Holy crap! Though it's tragic you have to laugh...[awkward laugh of course] as for the bottom picture HUGE! And here I was thinking I should be scared of jellyfish!
Reply
:icontjkofinas:
TJKofinas Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Eheu, didn't know that about Clinton. Yeah, okay, totally NOT voting for her now.

And the bees. Bees. I used to be like "So what, it's a bee." But after I took AP Latin last year... bees... hate...

Stingrays can kill, yes. One just attempted to murder my "L" key on my keyboard (it's not working real well). But you know what you really have to look out for? Those damn sea cucumbers... Believe me, they're the ones really plotting something.
Reply
:iconmindstrel:
mindstrel Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
As a fervent member of the S.P.M.S. (Society for the Prevention of Misidentifying Stingrays), I feel the need to point out that the flying ocean-dweller in the story is an eagle ray, and not a stingray.

Because, of course, 75-pound killer rays are SRS BUSINESS.
Reply
:iconfrost-dragonx:
frost-dragonX Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Student
I herd about the sting ray in the news...I actually LOL so hard I couldn't breath! No offence to the family who were involved...but I didn't know that stingrays could fly! I mean WTF???


Oh and Hillary - BACK OFF FROM MY VIDEO GAMES!
Reply
:icondisturbed-sanctuary:
Disturbed-Sanctuary Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
GOOOOOOOOOOOOO OBAMA!
Reply
:iconkouji-han:
Kouji-han Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Lol stingrays.
Reply
:iconnights-fandom:
NiGHTS-fandom Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I know. I heard about that yesterday I was so freaked out because we're going to Florida for SPRING BREAK!!! :icon300plz: I'm so freaked out now, I'm not going anywhere NEAR the beach AT ALL this Spring Break...:cries:
Reply
:iconpsychotic-dragon:
psychotic-Dragon Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
This is one of the few reasons why I am glad I live in the middle of the US. Too far away from a Stingray's reach.
Reply
:icongdorchaser13:
GdorChaser13 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
-cringe- I've never been stung by a bee, but my mom's allergic, and I take after her genetically in many respects so maybe that one too. But I'm scared sh!tl3ss of them.
Reply
:iconakushou:
Akushou Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am also going to join the Anti-Stingray Threat Undercover Defenses. Your group shall soon meet its gruesome fate >D
Reply
:iconsithpower:
SithPower Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Grr. Darn stingrays. They're out to destroy our way of life!
Reply
:iconpurplerains:
purplerains Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
OMG!!!

I WILL JOIN THE LEGION OF S.T.U.D. Damn stingrays...
Reply
:iconnigai:
Nigai Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
LMAO!

1: I wanna join!

2: Sorry to hear. Bees are the only insect I like

3: HILARY IS IN IT SO HER HUSBAND GETS A TECHNICAL EXTRA< POSSIBLY 2 TERMS! SEND THE STINGRAYS ON HER! Oh crap! I wasn't supposed to say the stingray part out loud. YOU HEARD NOTHING!
Reply
:iconallegra-the-neko:
Allegra-the-Neko Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I once caught a stingray while fishing. I was about 8 years old and alone on the dock, damn thing nearly pulling me into the briney depths. Then everyone saw me fighting with my fishing pole and came out to help me, only to pull up a GI-HUGIC stingray DDD: Yes it probably seemed bigger than it was seeing as I was 8 but it was still frightening.

And also, Obama for president!
Reply
:iconestell-chan:
Estell-chan Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I also have an almost crippling fear of bees and hornets in general since one of Satan's hornets crawled in my hair when I was little. Good times...
Reply
:iconvanhelsing1117:
Vanhelsing1117 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Beezlebee... if you're as big a lover of occult and likewise stuff as i am, that reference there is hillarious...

That Hillary photo was priceless. I didn't know about the game thing, and i already wanted Obama to win, but after reading that i saw "DOWN WITH HILLARY!!!"
Reply
:iconsilverthehedgehog78:
silverthehedgehog78 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Student Writer
Can i join the S.T.U.D.? I don't want to get killed by one.
Reply
:iconjackhighwind:
jackhighwind Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
....biggest stingray i've ever seen in my live.
Reply
:icontowson:
towson Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
0.o holy shit \o.o/
Reply
:iconalbel-is-mine:
Albel-is-MINE Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you whats worse than bees?

>>
<<

wasps. :dead:
Reply
:iconalbel-is-mine:
Albel-is-MINE Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i fucking hate wasps...Dx
Reply
:icondoctorlit:
doctorlit Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
You know I love video games, and I hate Hilary Clinton, but I find myself agreeing with a lot of the things she was quoted as saying in that article...Higher-rated games should be kept from younger kids.
Reply
:iconcartoonjohnstudios:
CartoonJohnStudios Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Artist
Bees are proof that God hates us all!
Reply
:iconwritingviolinist:
WritingViolinist Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
But Raid is proof that he still cares at least a little bit!
Reply
:iconcartoonjohnstudios:
CartoonJohnStudios Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Artist
True...
Reply
:icon2ndgatewaytonowhere:
2ndgatewaytonowhere Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Student General Artist
O_O
D:
i'm scared.
Reply
:iconnmmi-nut:
nmmi-nut Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
HOLY FRIGGIN GOD YOU GOT TO SEE Obama??

DX Lucky lucky person! Well, Thank you for posting this...

Satan's Honeybees, huh? Well, I feel the same about worms ^_^ (except so far the worms haven't infiltrated my home...)
Reply
:iconskiboy11:
skiboy11 Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2008
that's why I despise the rain. Rain is good in everyway, except for the fact the worms crawl up onto the pavement by the millions... hurg, I can't stand walking around outside when the ground is like that
Reply
:iconnmmi-nut:
nmmi-nut Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2008
^_^ I stay inside for three straight months is how I deal with it ^_^
Reply
:iconskiboy11:
skiboy11 Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2008
bah, I can't afford anymore time inside. I stay inside for 6 straight months in winter, I can't stay inside for 6 straight months of summer too :(
Reply
:iconpinumbra:
Pinumbra Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist
*leaps out of the water and very nearly misses slapping Lil in the fayse* 8D
Reply
:iconfullmetal-beaver:
Fullmetal-Beaver Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I heard that it just hit her and she fell backwards and hit her head, or something. :/
Reply
:iconzeikier:
Zeikier Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's insane! I'm telling ya, who knows what those rays will come up with next!

And...I think....that Clinton picture....shaved five years off my life....
Reply
:iconcassandrachatwin:
CassandraChatwin Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awwwr~ Stingrays! :icon urhappyplz:
Theres an aquarium here in Utah with an open stingray tank. You can pet 'em and stuff. They're tame and their stingers are removed, of course. Its so cool! 8DDDD
They're all soft and blubbery.... like the inside of your cheek.
Terrible shame I've got an allergy to their skin. o___0
Reply
:iconcourtj3st3r:
COURTJ3ST3R Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
HOLY HUGE STINGRAY BATMAN :iconohnoesplz:
Reply
:iconc4nis-lupis:
C4nis-Lupis Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
BOB SAGET I didn't know stingrays could get so big. Good greif. :noes:
Reply
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March 22, 2008
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