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March 22, 2008
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THE STINGRAY THREAT

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 22, 2008, 12:56 PM


Holy shit, you guys. The stingrays are out for blood! Check it:

This woman died of RAY TO THE FACE. YOU COULD BE NEXT.

Seriously, this should be a campaign issue. Health care? WHAT GOOD IS HEALTHCARE WHEN THE STINGRAYS ARE ON A RAMPAGE?!?! Somewhere in the Caribbean, they are circling, declaring in the secret tongue of stingrays, "Steve Irwin was only the first to fall!"

But dude! Read the article! These suckers are so hardcore, they kill people with their faces!

I KNOW RIGHT.

If you want to fight back, join the Stingray Threat Undercover Defenses (S.T.U.D.) today!


In other news, there are sometimes certain things you don't want to hear, ever, under certain circumstances.

As some of you know, it's been a crazy term, but I am finally taking spring break off and am back in my old hometown for the week. My dad's house is pretty nice digs, and it's always good to be back, so everything's shiny, aye?

Only yesterday morning, I go upstairs to fix some breakfast, go near the sink, and out of the blue I hear this furious buzzing. And on the windowsill appears not one, but two bees.

Some of you may also know that I have a strong dislike, bordering on crippling fear, of bees. That being said, I am not exaggerating when I say that these bees appeared to have crawled from the pits of apian Hell. They were the same shape as a honey bee, but larger, and black, not in the fuzzy-fat-happy bumblebee way, but this creepy Venom : Spiderman :: Beelzebee : NORMAL BEE way. (For anyone who never had to do analogies as a kid, you were deprived.)

So I call my father up, as he is out making his musical therapist rounds (don't ask.)
"So, Dad. Did you, perchance, know that there are bees in the kitchen?"

This was one of those situations where there are certain things you really do not want to hear. For example, my father's response:
"Oh, funny story, that...."

Funny story? Funny story?! Funny story is Lady Getting Smeared by a Stingray. Funny story is not our kitchen being flooded with Satan's Honeymakers. Apparently bees in the kitchen is a recurring thing. All I'm sayin' is if they don't get to steppin', Raid's gonna be a recurring thing too. >[

Also I totally got to see Barack Obama last night. He was, like, ten feet away. It was so damn cool. A side note--not to wax too political here, but--well, if you're voting Republican, power to ye, but if you're more left-leaning and you're undecided? I'd nudge you towards Obama. Not because Hillary is the Great Satan, but (partially) because she's not exactly the Gaming Industry's best friend, and I know that actually is something that impacts a lot of you guys.  

Plus, the dame eats babies. So. You know. Yeah.





In closing,

THE STINGRAY WANTS FLESH.



Features Temporarily On Hold During Contest!

:star::star::star:FAQ: blacklillian.deviantart.com/jo…:

If you have any questions, please read this first! If your question isn't answered, then fire away! :)


PARTNER IN CRIME/KAA-SAN/PROM QUEEN:
:iconalietfaslami:
Guilty of:
Partial destruction of Japan, conspiring against Organization XIII, converting me to PS2ism

CRAZY COLLEGE BUDDIES:
:iconsmiling-grouch::iconergo-the-god::icondead-bird::iconmiaki: :iconsilverdragon686:

HOME-SLICES:
:iconfayekas::iconlorien077::iconbeeflord-quimplestag::iconbabypea::iconiamlazarus:

CLUBS:

:iconaxel-fc::iconorganization::iconkhiiclub::iconthe-turnip-garden:

....MY FAN CLUB... *hides in a corner*
:iconblacklillianfanclub:

Survivor Stamp by terriblenerd Don't Waste Time Stamp by KidKourage

  • Mood: Alarmed
  • Listening to: Queen Anne's Revenge, Flogging Molly
  • Watching: HOLY CRAP IT'S A STINGRAY
  • Playing: GET IN THE BOAT
  • Eating: OH WAIT, SCRATCH THAT
  • Drinking: GET ON LAND
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmanic-pixie:
dude.
seriously.
i stood on at least two stingrays in my lifetime, i grew up with guys who'd been speared by them......i fear them so so much.
Reply
:iconalectryomachy:
alectryomachy Mar 24, 2008
Holy God!

In the article it says it leapt out of the water and hit her in the face!

That's the most epic death ever! I mean, that's a moment in time where life is sitting back going "lmao" and Braveheart music is playing or something. Then the ray hits her in the face and everybody's kind of like "umm, wtf r u doing?"

Haha~

But I guarantee bees aren't nearly as scary as scorpions. I found one on my wall the other night. Vertically clinging to my wall. I turn the light on and he's all "Why helo thar" while I'm staring at it like it's an alien with five heads.
Reply
:iconkuro-tatsu:
Going to Sakuracon?
Reply
:iconsouthernrose:
I saw the same story and was completely dumbfounded. Man, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...And that dang ray(which was a spotted eagle ray) weighed 75 lbs, but I saw somewhere that they can get up to 500 lbs! That would totally take someones head off. And for some reason, my mom was really amused that the ray was killed too--watch out for kamikaze rays!! Crazy stuff; I feel really bad for the woman's family, but daaaaaaaang, this is like the freakiest freak accident ever! I wonder what the odds of that happening are, lol.
Reply
:iconyokko:
Yokko Mar 23, 2008  Student General Artist
Lmao.

This whole journal amuses me


... In a political, stingray sort of way.
Reply
:iconkatana-okami:
o_O My dad got stung by a stingray a while ago. Those things are painful motha fuckers.
Reply
:iconnovus-luna-angelus:
OH MY GOSH, my Aunt just told me about that article on Friday D: Thats freaking crazy!!!

And I'm sorry about your bee problem. I can't stand bugs period, its even worse when they're in your house.
Reply
:iconvalatdeviantart:
Where on Earth is this place that has stingrays that big?!?

I laughed at the bee part of your story, because it seems to me that you've just experienced your first encounter with what we here in Colombia refer lovingly to as *abejorros*, far remioved from the fuzzy *Hummeln* I saw on my first trip to Germany (though I still ran away from them because my first association was to the aggressive and highly dangerous devil-bee I've always lived with... cute and cuddly my ass! *rubs hiney*) :D
Reply
:icongunshotxheaven:
sign me up! someone needs to defend the world against impending stingray doom!!

im sorry :comfort: i know how you feel... im terribly afraid of anything that flies D:

hahahh that picture is the true essence of hillary... and i think the bill is slightly a good idea because like twelve year olds shouldnt be playing grand theft auto but if it applies to people my age, HELLZ NOES
:shakefish:
Reply
:icondj-sai:
DJ-Sai Mar 23, 2008  Student Interface Designer
HOSHIT.

We must attack.
Freeze the waters, drain the oceans!
make them into Sushi! D<
But seriously, 2 people have now died of sting rays. Wow.
Reply
Add a Comment: