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THE STINGRAY THREAT

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 22, 2008, 12:56 PM


Holy shit, you guys. The stingrays are out for blood! Check it:

This woman died of RAY TO THE FACE. YOU COULD BE NEXT.

Seriously, this should be a campaign issue. Health care? WHAT GOOD IS HEALTHCARE WHEN THE STINGRAYS ARE ON A RAMPAGE?!?! Somewhere in the Caribbean, they are circling, declaring in the secret tongue of stingrays, "Steve Irwin was only the first to fall!"

But dude! Read the article! These suckers are so hardcore, they kill people with their faces!

I KNOW RIGHT.

If you want to fight back, join the Stingray Threat Undercover Defenses (S.T.U.D.) today!


In other news, there are sometimes certain things you don't want to hear, ever, under certain circumstances.

As some of you know, it's been a crazy term, but I am finally taking spring break off and am back in my old hometown for the week. My dad's house is pretty nice digs, and it's always good to be back, so everything's shiny, aye?

Only yesterday morning, I go upstairs to fix some breakfast, go near the sink, and out of the blue I hear this furious buzzing. And on the windowsill appears not one, but two bees.

Some of you may also know that I have a strong dislike, bordering on crippling fear, of bees. That being said, I am not exaggerating when I say that these bees appeared to have crawled from the pits of apian Hell. They were the same shape as a honey bee, but larger, and black, not in the fuzzy-fat-happy bumblebee way, but this creepy Venom : Spiderman :: Beelzebee : NORMAL BEE way. (For anyone who never had to do analogies as a kid, you were deprived.)

So I call my father up, as he is out making his musical therapist rounds (don't ask.)
"So, Dad. Did you, perchance, know that there are bees in the kitchen?"

This was one of those situations where there are certain things you really do not want to hear. For example, my father's response:
"Oh, funny story, that...."

Funny story? Funny story?! Funny story is Lady Getting Smeared by a Stingray. Funny story is not our kitchen being flooded with Satan's Honeymakers. Apparently bees in the kitchen is a recurring thing. All I'm sayin' is if they don't get to steppin', Raid's gonna be a recurring thing too. >[

Also I totally got to see Barack Obama last night. He was, like, ten feet away. It was so damn cool. A side note--not to wax too political here, but--well, if you're voting Republican, power to ye, but if you're more left-leaning and you're undecided? I'd nudge you towards Obama. Not because Hillary is the Great Satan, but (partially) because she's not exactly the Gaming Industry's best friend, and I know that actually is something that impacts a lot of you guys.  

Plus, the dame eats babies. So. You know. Yeah.





In closing,

THE STINGRAY WANTS FLESH.



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PARTNER IN CRIME/KAA-SAN/PROM QUEEN:
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Guilty of:
Partial destruction of Japan, conspiring against Organization XIII, converting me to PS2ism

CRAZY COLLEGE BUDDIES:
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HOME-SLICES:
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CLUBS:

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....MY FAN CLUB... *hides in a corner*
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Survivor Stamp by terriblenerd Don't Waste Time Stamp by KidKourage

  • Mood: Alarmed
  • Listening to: Queen Anne's Revenge, Flogging Molly
  • Watching: HOLY CRAP IT'S A STINGRAY
  • Playing: GET IN THE BOAT
  • Eating: OH WAIT, SCRATCH THAT
  • Drinking: GET ON LAND
Add a Comment:
 
:iconwr0:
wr0 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2008  Student Digital Artist
:O_o: Whoa...How many more people can get killed?

And um, that is such a big stingray they got there!
Reply
:iconncqelie:
ncqelie Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2008
...Roast stingray are good...
Reply
:iconkimikurai:
kimikurai Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2008
holy stingray!!
Reply
:iconspazzydragon13:
SpazzyDragon13 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
XD Niiicce....Way to go on the Hillary deal. :D

Besides, I'm not trying to be mean, but your ordeal with the bees is flippin' hilarious. At least to others, as I am terrified of bees also. :hug:

Anyhow, -stares- That's one freaking gigantic, shouldn't be allowed to exist, sting-ray. O_O
Reply
:iconnyoccora2071:
Nyoccora2071 Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2008
Oh yeah! I remember seeing these things on the news! I drew a picture of the lady being attaked by the ray on the side of my trigonometry notes XD;; but you know one thing... STINGRAY TASTES DELICIOUS...8D
Reply
:iconmiyazakafairy:
MiyazakaFairy Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2008
OMFG that is so scary DD: I donät like them.
Reply
:iconlastshot:
LastShot Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2008
Obama is all talk. If you want action, vote McCain. A vote for John McCain is a vote for John McClain! Yipee-kiyah!
Reply
:iconblaze-typhoon:
Blaze-Typhoon Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2008
Whoa, this is odd.
Reply
:iconsailorarctic:
SailorArctic Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2008
Actually, I think I'm gonna make an icon.
Reply
:iconsailorarctic:
SailorArctic Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2008
Bees, Scorpions, and Stingrays, oh my! Seems like everyone is having issues with something. They found a scorpion in the bananas at Wal-Mart a few months back. I want to join S.T.U.D.
Reply
:iconmanic-pixie:
manic-pixie Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2008
dude.
seriously.
i stood on at least two stingrays in my lifetime, i grew up with guys who'd been speared by them......i fear them so so much.
Reply
:iconalectryomachy:
alectryomachy Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2008
Holy God!

In the article it says it leapt out of the water and hit her in the face!

That's the most epic death ever! I mean, that's a moment in time where life is sitting back going "lmao" and Braveheart music is playing or something. Then the ray hits her in the face and everybody's kind of like "umm, wtf r u doing?"

Haha~

But I guarantee bees aren't nearly as scary as scorpions. I found one on my wall the other night. Vertically clinging to my wall. I turn the light on and he's all "Why helo thar" while I'm staring at it like it's an alien with five heads.
Reply
:iconkuro-tatsu:
Kuro-Tatsu Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
Going to Sakuracon?
Reply
:iconsouthernrose:
SouthernRose Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
I saw the same story and was completely dumbfounded. Man, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...And that dang ray(which was a spotted eagle ray) weighed 75 lbs, but I saw somewhere that they can get up to 500 lbs! That would totally take someones head off. And for some reason, my mom was really amused that the ray was killed too--watch out for kamikaze rays!! Crazy stuff; I feel really bad for the woman's family, but daaaaaaaang, this is like the freakiest freak accident ever! I wonder what the odds of that happening are, lol.
Reply
:iconyokko:
Yokko Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008   General Artist
Lmao.

This whole journal amuses me


... In a political, stingray sort of way.
Reply
:iconkatana-okami:
Katana-Okami Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
o_O My dad got stung by a stingray a while ago. Those things are painful motha fuckers.
Reply
:iconnovus-luna-angelus:
Novus-Luna-Angelus Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
OH MY GOSH, my Aunt just told me about that article on Friday D: Thats freaking crazy!!!

And I'm sorry about your bee problem. I can't stand bugs period, its even worse when they're in your house.
Reply
:iconvalatdeviantart:
valatdeviantart Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
Where on Earth is this place that has stingrays that big?!?

I laughed at the bee part of your story, because it seems to me that you've just experienced your first encounter with what we here in Colombia refer lovingly to as *abejorros*, far remioved from the fuzzy *Hummeln* I saw on my first trip to Germany (though I still ran away from them because my first association was to the aggressive and highly dangerous devil-bee I've always lived with... cute and cuddly my ass! *rubs hiney*) :D
Reply
:icongunshotxheaven:
gunshotXheaven Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
sign me up! someone needs to defend the world against impending stingray doom!!

im sorry :comfort: i know how you feel... im terribly afraid of anything that flies D:

hahahh that picture is the true essence of hillary... and i think the bill is slightly a good idea because like twelve year olds shouldnt be playing grand theft auto but if it applies to people my age, HELLZ NOES
:shakefish:
Reply
:icondj-sai:
DJ-Sai Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008  Student Interface Designer
HOSHIT.

We must attack.
Freeze the waters, drain the oceans!
make them into Sushi! D<
But seriously, 2 people have now died of sting rays. Wow.
Reply
:iconaxel-pyroguy:
Axel-pyroguy Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
These types of things make me wonder if Hilary Cinton is really just a giant stingray in disguise out to kill us all with her video game hate! and her stingray army!!
Reply
:iconsola84:
Sola84 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
Sadly there are ignorant people out there hunting the stingrays because of deaths like these, as if other humans are not more of a threat to us!

I couldn't help but notice the picture of the lady's hat on the stingray and the drop of blood in front of it amusing in a sick way. The stingrays are warning us to stay out of their ocean, even being on a boat isn't safe.

You shouldn't be afriad of bees, it's wasps that are out to get us, although I heard they are recuriting bees for spying, since they look harmless enough...
Reply
:iconwhite-kitten:
White-Kitten Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008
HILARY IS CONTROLING THE STINGRAYS, SATAN'S IN LEAGUE WITH THE BEES, NATURE'S OUT TO GET US. politics are involved. omg we're all gonna die.
Reply
:iconbloody-red-sporks:
bloody-red-sporks Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
there was another story where a stingray killed an 80year old man off the keys like 5 years ago or summat like that.
Reply
:iconneon-silver:
Neon-Silver Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
You have no clue how hard it is for me to not make a Steve Irwin joke right now....you really don't...
Reply
:iconkilo-monster:
Kilo-Monster Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Let us never forget that they also got Steve. ;A; Those stingrays are goin' DOOOOOWN!
Reply
:iconshirabliss:
ShiraBliss Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
HOLY...?!?!? :faint:

save us D:>
Reply
:iconbobrox15:
bobrox15 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
As long as nobody finds out I've been smuggling them from the ocean to their secret base in the midwest. We shall take over America from the inside! All Hail Stingrays!!!!!

Seeing Political Candidates is cool, I got to Shake Obama's hand.

Hillary is just killing herself now, she's made so many comments about Obama only winning "the votes that don't matter"
Reply
:iconnodwolf:
nodwolf Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'll join S.T.U.D.! I'll be your numba 2 man Miss Ian!
Reply
:iconphilrey:
PhilRey Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Student General Artist
That's frightening.
Reply
:iconbeltaguise:
Beltaguise Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I always knew the next dominant species of Earth would come from the ocean...I just always thought it would be the squids. >>

Oh well. I for one, salute our Stingray overlords! Hail the giant flipper fish!

I don't know how right the information was, but I heard black bees were the undertakers of bee-dom. Which means somewhere in your kitchen there's a tiny bee graveyard. D:
Reply
:iconmadmother88:
MadMother88 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
0_o Big stingray...
lol, S.T.U.D >o<
Reply
:icondefineprog:
defineprog Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Those buggers are cause more beachside deaths than sharks. :0
Reply
:iconwritingviolinist:
WritingViolinist Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I say that video games were what caused people to be more creative, i mean come on- "the dog ate my homework." ??? how lame is that?
Reply
:iconrascalflattsbaby8908:
Holy crap! Though it's tragic you have to laugh...[awkward laugh of course] as for the bottom picture HUGE! And here I was thinking I should be scared of jellyfish!
Reply
:icontjkofinas:
TJKofinas Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Eheu, didn't know that about Clinton. Yeah, okay, totally NOT voting for her now.

And the bees. Bees. I used to be like "So what, it's a bee." But after I took AP Latin last year... bees... hate...

Stingrays can kill, yes. One just attempted to murder my "L" key on my keyboard (it's not working real well). But you know what you really have to look out for? Those damn sea cucumbers... Believe me, they're the ones really plotting something.
Reply
:iconmindstrel:
mindstrel Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
As a fervent member of the S.P.M.S. (Society for the Prevention of Misidentifying Stingrays), I feel the need to point out that the flying ocean-dweller in the story is an eagle ray, and not a stingray.

Because, of course, 75-pound killer rays are SRS BUSINESS.
Reply
:iconfrost-dragonx:
frost-dragonX Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Student
I herd about the sting ray in the news...I actually LOL so hard I couldn't breath! No offence to the family who were involved...but I didn't know that stingrays could fly! I mean WTF???


Oh and Hillary - BACK OFF FROM MY VIDEO GAMES!
Reply
:icondisturbed-sanctuary:
Disturbed-Sanctuary Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
GOOOOOOOOOOOOO OBAMA!
Reply
:iconkouji-han:
Kouji-han Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Lol stingrays.
Reply
:iconnights-fandom:
NiGHTS-fandom Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I know. I heard about that yesterday I was so freaked out because we're going to Florida for SPRING BREAK!!! :icon300plz: I'm so freaked out now, I'm not going anywhere NEAR the beach AT ALL this Spring Break...:cries:
Reply
:iconpsychotic-dragon:
psychotic-Dragon Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
This is one of the few reasons why I am glad I live in the middle of the US. Too far away from a Stingray's reach.
Reply
:icongdorchaser13:
GdorChaser13 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
-cringe- I've never been stung by a bee, but my mom's allergic, and I take after her genetically in many respects so maybe that one too. But I'm scared sh!tl3ss of them.
Reply
:iconakushou:
Akushou Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am also going to join the Anti-Stingray Threat Undercover Defenses. Your group shall soon meet its gruesome fate >D
Reply
:iconsithpower:
SithPower Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Grr. Darn stingrays. They're out to destroy our way of life!
Reply
:iconpurplerains:
purplerains Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
OMG!!!

I WILL JOIN THE LEGION OF S.T.U.D. Damn stingrays...
Reply
:iconnigai:
Nigai Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
LMAO!

1: I wanna join!

2: Sorry to hear. Bees are the only insect I like

3: HILARY IS IN IT SO HER HUSBAND GETS A TECHNICAL EXTRA< POSSIBLY 2 TERMS! SEND THE STINGRAYS ON HER! Oh crap! I wasn't supposed to say the stingray part out loud. YOU HEARD NOTHING!
Reply
:iconallegra-the-neko:
Allegra-the-Neko Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I once caught a stingray while fishing. I was about 8 years old and alone on the dock, damn thing nearly pulling me into the briney depths. Then everyone saw me fighting with my fishing pole and came out to help me, only to pull up a GI-HUGIC stingray DDD: Yes it probably seemed bigger than it was seeing as I was 8 but it was still frightening.

And also, Obama for president!
Reply
:iconestell-chan:
Estell-chan Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
I also have an almost crippling fear of bees and hornets in general since one of Satan's hornets crawled in my hair when I was little. Good times...
Reply
:iconvanhelsing1117:
Vanhelsing1117 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
Beezlebee... if you're as big a lover of occult and likewise stuff as i am, that reference there is hillarious...

That Hillary photo was priceless. I didn't know about the game thing, and i already wanted Obama to win, but after reading that i saw "DOWN WITH HILLARY!!!"
Reply
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March 22, 2008
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